I’m in thank you–note mania. There are so many people to thank, and as most of you already know, I’m a thank you–note freak, but these are definitely taking longer than expected. Call me crazy, but I really want each one to have a personal message, so I am really trying to avoid the templated:

Dear XX,

Thank you so much for the beautiful XX. We love it! That was so nice of you, and we were so happy to see you at the wedding! Thanks again!

I may be changing my tune in a few weeks, but for now, I’m trying my best to be as thoughtful as I can for each of our guests. The way I see it is that they went out of their way to purchase a gift for us, and many of them came to the wedding, so the least I can do is spending 20 minutes on a meaningful thank you–note, right? I purposefully waited until after the wedding to write all the notes because I wanted to be able to discuss the wedding in each one. Don’t get me wrong, I addressed as many envelopes as I could a head of time, so the card was right there waiting when I got back from the honeymoon, but the writing is what really takes the work. Also, since personalized stamps were such a theme throughout our wedding, we decided a picture from the wedding with us holding a “Thank You” sign would be the perfect end-cap to our paper madness.

So now I’m caught up in this madness. I’m thanking people for cappuccino makers, coffee makers, break makers (we registered for a lot of “makers), towels, tools, money (always a delicate one to write) . . . you name it, we registered for it! (Tip: I strongly advise keeping a separate log on your computer of all the gifts you received; those “thank you managers” on your registry are not very reliable.) Meanwhile, as I sort through our gift log, attempting to write the notes in the order the gifts were received, I’ve noticed a common thread among our gift givers. Everyone wants to give the fun gifts that are great for entertaining: decorative trays, wine glasses, crystal pitchers, beer pilsners, etc. I am as guilty of this as anyone (I love giving champagne or martini glasses), but I noticed that our friends who were most recently married were the ones who got us the less glamorous stuff that we really need: everyday plates, sheets, etc. And this got me thinking: At the end of the day, I need my plates. If I end up only eight wine glasses instead of 12, so be it, but if I end up with six plates, I’m going to have to finish out that portion of my registry on my own. Thus, my new buying plan for the eight (that’s right, eight) weddings we have between August 1 and the end of the year commenced. My motto, “Get the boring stuff they need.”

Another interesting observation that I’ve made while I mull over my notes is that people are afraid to get you something really small, even if it’s incredibly nice. At the behest of my mother, we registered for silver flatware, which was rather spendy but absolutely beautiful. I love the style that we chose, and I foresee using our Christofle forks and knives at many fancy dinner parties and family holidays in the future. However, the price of one fork is what some people typically spend on a wedding present. I think when people saw that, they skipped it immediately, which meant our silver sat primarily untouched until about two weeks before our wedding. In my case, as the wedding neared, I was starting to worry that The Husband and I would be finishing out our silver ourselves. And it wasn’t until a few days before my wedding when my lovely co-workers at MSP got me an unnecessary but very appreciated wedding gift that I received my first piece of silver.

Ali Kaplan, our shopping + style editor, was in charge of getting me a gift from the group, so she went to Ampersand to scope things out. Ali took a risk when she saw how much silver was left on my registry and presented me with a singular (but beautiful) fork from the crew. I know they all thought it was hilarious that the team pitched in to get me one utensil, but I was honestly thrilled. Not only is it a gift that I will always remember (I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve retold the story of my infamous fork), but the thoughtfulness of their actions—to all come together to purchase something so nice and beautiful—is a gesture that l will always remember. And once other wedding guests saw that single utensils were being sold as a gift, others followed suit (thank goodness!).

Ali later asked in all seriousness if it was okay for someone to just get a fork as a wedding present, and I told her absolutely. If the price is right, one piece of a setting (whether it be a fork, a knife, or a cup or saucer from the china collection) is a lovely gift (and often times more memorable!).  Plus, if it’s on the registry, that means the bride wants it, so don’t be afraid of the small or the singular gifts. It’s equally appreciated and makes for an even more enjoyable thank you–note.

Speaking of which . . . those notes are calling my name. I hope you’re enjoying your planning and if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to post to our Facebook page!  Congratulations!