As I mentioned yesterday, LA Log and I returned to the Twin Cities this week for some quality breathing air and to attend The Starkey Hearing Foundation’s “So the World May Hear” gala, an event that raises millions to fit hearing aids for impoverished hearing-impaired children across the globe.
Yesterday’s post shared my thoughts on the event’s headliner, Garth Brooks. But before Brooks took the stage, I witnessed a truly unique red carpet experience. In fact, CJ in her column today said of working the carpet alongside moi: “That Anderson kid's nice gossipy company. He radiates that Minnesota Nice vibe, yet he's snarky.”
Nothing like being snarky at Starkey.
Part 2: The Celebrities at Starkey
First of all, I’ve never seen St. Paul on a Saturday night so electric. In addition to the black dresses and tuxedos, the streets were filled with geeks headed to the Star Wars Science Museum exhibit as well kids, such as this one below, indulging in Walking with Dinosaurs, the touring show at Xcel Energy Center. No, this youngster is not the Incredible Hulk’s son.
But the photo below is of the original Incredible Hulk, Lou Ferrigno, and his wife, Carla, one of my first sightings on the red carpet.
As CJ reported today in her column, I shouted to Lou facetiously, “Is it true you’re going to challenge Arnold Schwarzenegger for governor of California?” Lou turned toward me and squinted in great confusion and consternation as if truly worried such a rumor was spreading. “No, Arnold’s my friend.” He didn’t get my joke. Sorry Lou, didn’t mean to stress you out. Lou is now a ‘deputy’ for the LA County Sheriff's Department.
Compared to most of Los Angeles’s red carpets, this was a walk in the park. There were no paparazzi jockeying for good angles, relentlessly shouting out celeb names, and acting like piranhas. E! and TMZ were not cluttering up the carpet with their cameras and obnoxious interviews. In fact, it was a friendly cadre of reporters, marked on one end by WCCO TV and Eleanor Mondale and the other by Mike Max and Dave Lee doing a live WCCO radio broadcast. In the middle were reporters from the local papers, including CJ with her video camera.
Bar none, CJ showed the most red carpet chops, slinging zingers at the celebs about bad hair and bad shoes. She knew how to work it and even got Marlee Matlin and Fabian Sanchez from Dancing with the Stars to strike this pose.
Two celebs who struck me as true red carpet regulars—Leslie Nielsen (Naked Gun) and Lucy Walsh (of MTV’s Rock the Cradle and daughter of Eagles's guitarist, Joe Walsh)—seemed a bit awkward by the laid-back experience. Nielsen was the only star to sport sun glasses, a staple of any LA carpet, and with every move, he seemed more and more like bumbling detective Frank Drebin.
Lucy Walsh, meanwhile, was stuck in red carpet gridlock. Red carpet jams rarely happen in Los Angeles because a star must never look like he or she is idle or disposable. Handlers and managers work very hard to stagger arrivals.
At the end of the Starkey carpet was a photo op with the heads of the Starkey Foundation, Bill and Tani Austin. The personal handshake and photo with each celeb thus created the line. Below is Lucy Walsh waiting for her photo. On numerous occasions, she took the pose all seasoned stars of the carpet do: one foot ahead of the other with a faux smile and hair toss. But alas, no one was there to yell her name or ask who she’s wearing. Sorry Lucy, I care. Is that a Rapala fishing lure or Lindy Rig in your ear?
Although for me, the most magnificent person on the carpet was Billie Jean King. Here she is being interviewed by Mike Max.
King was honored during the awards portion of the evening for her lifelong pursuit of equal rights for women. On stage, she appeared incredibly comfortable in her skin and spoke eloquently about her work in sports and of the Starkey Foundation. Her genuine spirit reinvigorated the night and certainly left me inspired. I wish I could say the same for Pat Benatar’s performance.
First of all, Benatar practically raced across the red carpet, and I think CJ was one of the few reporters to capture a decent image. Why was she in such a hurry? Did she want some grub? (Incidentally, I found the catering quite satisfying.)
No, I think something else was amiss. And although I cannot confirm or deny it, I must assume that Benatar had at one time a wild, illicit affair with WCCO radio and television reporter Mike Max. Surely she approached the carpet, spotted the handsome Max strutting his stuff, and, in a panic, dashed out before she would have to face the man she once loved and for whom "Heartbreaker” is penned.
Perhaps Benatar’s sighting of Max rattled her performance. She sang just three songs, which included “Heartbreaker” (a.k.a. “WCCO’s Mike Max eats women’s hearts for breakfast”) and “Love is Battlefield”, during which she seemed to clutch her alien scarf around her neck for support. Her voice still reverberated with that plaintive raspy croon of lost love, but her heart just wasn’t in it. See for yourself on one of the evenings two jumbotrons:
Regardless, Benatar did attract an almost strictly female crowd (who hung on her every word) at the foot of the stage.
More stars of the night in random order:
Minnesota-born model Cheryl Tiegs paws at CJ with fountain of youth explorer, Dan Buettner.
Norm Crosby, a comedian from the 1970s who delivered this joke to the 1,500 people in attendance: (paraphrased) “Anybody can get married in California these days. Gay people, straight people. Why, just the other day at the Beverly Hills Hotel, two television antennae got married. The ceremony was so-so, but the reception was incredible.
Now you know why you’ve never heard of this guy.
Robert Culp of the TV series I Spy
Sam Moore, R&B singer. Notable song, “Soul Man”
Whitey Herzog, former MLB player and manager, discussing with Sid Hartman whom Obama should choose as a running mate. Herzog managed the Cardinals, which were defeated by the Twins in the ’87 World Series. Whitey was honored for the work done by his philanthropic organization, and when accepting his award, he said this about the Twins's new roofless stadium: “For games in April and May, I hope you bring fur-lined jockstraps.” Ha!
Paige Hemmis and Eduardo Xol of ABC’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
Crosby Loggins, winner of MTV’s Rock the Cradle, son of Kenny Loggins
Marion Ross of Happy Days shows off her earrings to CJ.
Rick Barry, retired NBA Hall of Famer
My two dates for the evening: Sarah Sprayberry, Miss Minnesota Teen USA 2008, and Alla Ilushka, Miss Minnesota USA 2007
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