Oh, how my Echo Park neighborhood—home of Dodger Stadium—weeps. Slugger and stooge Manny Ramirez has tested positive for a banned substance and is suspended for fifty games.

We Los Angeleneos were told to be weary of the dreadlocked outfielder, but we put our trust in Ramirez just the same. And who’s to blame us? He batted a sweet .520 in last year’s postseason, and our team has soared in '09. But now we are left looking like a bunch of John Edwards supporters with our foam fingers wedged up our keesters.

Speaking of the narcissist with the best looking hair south of the Mason Dixon Line, check out this clip from Oprah. She makes Johnny Boy squirm. I didn’t see the full show, so I’ll refrain from further comment, but his struggle to find his thought after each of her questions and watching him decide what feelings to share is a fascinating character study.

Anyways, Mannywood, as it’s been dubbed, has come to an end. The drug he took for a “personal health issue” was not a steroid—just a female fertility drug. But according to one LA Times article, such a drug is “commonly used by athletes to restore the body after steroid use.” So, things will most likely only get uglier for the Blue Men of LA.

And as for my neighborhood of taco trucks, bacon-wrapped dogs, and the epicenter of Dodgermania, we will have to find something else to believe in . . . such as the Lakers. Or better yet, Star Trek. Yeah, the new Star Trek movie, which is supposed to have a 75-million-dollar opening this weekend.

And according to this Onion News Network Report, this Star Trek won’t let us down like Ramirez . . . or maybe it will . . . .