Holy smokes chums, you are about a week away from one of the smooshiest, drippiest, most expectation-laden day of the year! Don’t. Mess. It. Up. To help you out a touch, here are a smattering of ideas and joints at which you still might be able to score a seat/golden ticket of love. Don’t delay . . . when the hapless soul calls me on Feb. 13 asking what he should do, I say run.

Tables for Two

Meritage: If you didn’t get to Paris on your honeymoon, shoot for this. Dinner on Feb. 14 is gone but lunch is still available. So is Friday. The awesome oyster bar is first come, first served, if you’re the betting kind.

News flash: Heartland is NOT solidly booked. If you tried, and were denied, there was a glitch in the matrix that has been fixed and there are some nice tables still available. For $75 you choose one of the four-course menus: Forest & Prairie, River & Lakes, Farm & Field. There’s also a special ala carte menu in the bar, again no rezzies, but like love, worth the risk.

Over the TOP romance at Nicollet Island Inn . . . Gorgeous five-course menu for $70/guest, plus overnight packages, horse-drawn carriage rides, the works. Later in the night rezzies still available.

For the musically inclined, check out the set at Icehouse in which a special 7-course dinner with wine is paired with music by Laurels String Quartet for $85. Later that night there’s a soul-drenched concert at 11 for the crazies.

If your love teared up at the God Made A Farmer commercial, isn’t he/she worth a little trip to the country? Terra Waconia is all about using its neighbors’ bounty and the five-course V-day wine dinner features French wines for $85.

Saffron only has early and later tables, but the five-course for $65 is encouraging: poached sturgeon couscous, grilled lamb with butternut squash, white chocolate panna cotta with rose petal. Hello.

Aji Sushi in Hopkins has a special menu for two for $55 that includes: Two shared entrees (hibachi salmon, grilled petite filet, panko pork, etc.) choice of two sushi rolls, and a dessert to share.

More of an Event

Café Ena’s Aphrodisiac Wine Dinner is on Feb. 12, to get you revved up. This lavish nine-course dinner with wine pairings is $75 and includes honey-lavender scallop served over avocado mousse, confit asparagus bundle served over a truffle-almond sauce, almond-garlic crusted filet served with baby spinach drizzled by fig-20 year Porto sauce and more!

Foodies on Foot: Foods of Love Progressive Dinner is being held on Feb. 13 . . . $60 will get you a four-course dinner with wine pairings at different spots in Stillwater. All dishes will focus on aphrodisiac foods which will be discussed during the meal. Plus you’ll get a 25 percent discount at Water Street Inn if you book a room and mention the tour!

Psycho Suzi’s presents the Love Me or Leave Me party on the actual V-day. Share a pizza, have a drink, and have some fun in the photo booth with a “friend” for just $25 a couple, or if you’re a lone ranger get a solo pizza and a beer for your tears for just $13! Sure, go ahead and photo booth it too. There will be drink specials popping up through the night.

Take-Home Dinners

Broders‘ loves you like you love your couch. The $40 pick-up dinner for two includes a big salad, either lasagne of fresh salmon, shrimp and crab with roasted peppers or risotto with house-made lamb sausage and roasted artichokes (vegetarian version available upon request), plus a loaf of rosemary focaccia bread, classic Tiramisu, or Strawberry Tiramisu. But don’t think you’re able to slough, put your order in early.

Surdyk’s will help you fake it like you can make it. This three-course dinner for $42 (choose from beef short ribs, lobster spaghetti, duck breast au poivre) is easily and artfully assembled when you follow the sweetly drawn plating instructions. Plus you get an in-store coupon for 10 percent off any wine. Please give 48 hours notice, you charlatan!

Heart-Shaped Pizzas

Randy’s Premier Pizza is kind of the king of heart-shaped pizzas. Randy makes them thin crust, pan, Chicago deep dish, or Chicago stuffed (huh?) and they are available with any combo of ingredients, in all sizes. Yes, lovers there is a 30” Super Heart Pizza. Plus they ship anywhere, to loved ones in far off places, and offer a “Pizza Amore” Valentine’s deal that includes two salads, a heart-shaped chocolate chip cookie for two, and a heart-shaped pizza with two toppings for $29.99 (available for dine-in, carryout, or delivery).

Pinstripes will let you have a little bowling and bocce before your wood-fired heart-shaped pizza. Plus couples get a free champagne toast and a wee Frangelico chocolate cake.

Italian Pie Shoppe, with multiple locations, has heart-shaped pizzas through the rest of the month. They make an excellent opening salvo for an apology. In case you mess up.

Something Extra

Angel Food Bakery has some sassy ways to get the message across. Check out the Naughty/Nice fortune cookies (can be customized, you minx!) plus heart-shaped donuts for your Homer, beautiful edible rose cupcakes, elegant truffles, and some cheeky vintage valentines (like the one above) that are better than the Spider Man ones from Target. Pre-order by Feb. 9!

If you know of any other spectacular deals or open spots . . . leave us a tip in the comments!