I put my five-year-old on a bus for the first time today. He's so ready for kindergarten, it's sick. The boy has no problem melting into a crowd of strange kids and coming out as leader of the pack in a game of imaginary space pirates. When I asked him last night, one more time, if he was excited, his reply was "Yes already, can we stop talking about it?"

And I'm the cheerleader, the mom who is all about pushing the experience, punching any fear in the face, and taking on the day! Yeah!

So it shocked me that as I walked him on the bus, introduced him the friendly bus driver, sat him in his seat, and gave him a high-five, I was about. To. Lose. It. Big, deep breaths, held it together as I waved the bus down the street, then just sobbed. Sobbed. I am not a crier, and I sobbed.

To assuage my sudden sadness, I baked. I ran into the house and baked some chocolate chip pumpkin bread. I baked because it makes me feel good, and it makes others feel good, and the smell of my house makes me think I am a good mommy. So we might all gain a few pounds this month.

CHOCOLATE CHIP PUMPKIN BREAD

• 3/4 c. sugar
• 3/4 c. brown sugar
• 1/2 can (8 oz.) pumpkin puree
• 1/2 c. vegetable oil
• 1/3 c. water
• 2 eggs
• 1 c. all-purpose flour
• 3/4 c. whole-wheat flour
• 2 tsp. cinnamon
• 2 tsp. nutmeg
• 1 tsp. ground cloves
• 1 tsp. ground cardamom
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• Dark chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350. Grease a loaf pan, or use muffin cups if you'd like. In a large mixing bowl, combine sugars, pumpkin, oil, water, and eggs. In a separate bowl, whisk together flour, spices, baking soda, and salt. Slowly add the dry mix to the pumpkin batter, mixing well. Stir in the chocolate chips. Pour batter into prepared pan, loaf pans will take approximately 45 minutes, muffin pans approximately 30 minutes. Check for doneness when a skewer comes out clean. Cool for 15 minutes in pan, then tip onto rack. Give to smiling child when he disembarks bus after first day of school.