What do you do for one of your best girls when she's been dumped by the guy she thought she might marry? You make her a cake. And get her drunk.

But what if she's a fabulously gluten-free girl? Then you make her this mille crepe cake with a little futzing. This is not the Martha Stewart version, which, by all accounts in the blogosphere, sucks. This one is perfect because it's light, creamy, and pretty and will make her feel like she deserves some elegance, beauty, and righteousness in her life. It may take a bit of work to make, but after one delicate bite, she will realize that she's worth more than settling for some stinky, washed-up, hockey-player wannabe.

Keep the brandy bottle out.

Breakup Cake (gluten-free with just a hint of booze)

Pastry Cream

2 c. milk
1 T. vanilla
6 egg yolks
1/2 c. sugar
1 T. Dutch cocoa
1/3 c. cornstarch
3-1/2 T. butter
(Below: Whipped and added to pastry cream after chilled)
2 c. heavy cream
2 T. Dutch cocoa
3 T. brandy

Crepes

9 eggs
1 -/4 cup quinoa four
2 T. Dutch cocoa
1/2 c. sugar
2 c. milk
1 T. vanilla

For Pastry Cream: Get ready an ice bath with a small bowl sitting in a bigger bowl filed with ice water. Over high heat, bring milk to a boil, add vanilla, remove from heat, and set aside. In sauce pan, whisk eggs, sugar, cocoa, and cornstarch. Slowly, in a very metered stream, pour in hot milk while continuously whisking egg mix. Over medium-high heat, bring mixture to a slight boil, whisking constantly. Turn off heat, and immediately pour through fine mesh strainer into the ice-bath bowl. Stir as it cools. After approximately one minute, stir in butter. Cover, and refrigerate for a few hours or overnight. Before construction, whip heavy cream in a mixer with cocoa and brandy. It should be thick but won't hold stiff peaks. Fold this mix into the pastry cream, gently combining.

Crepes: Crack eggs into bowl, gently mix. Add flour, sugar, and cocoa, mixing well to form a pasty batter. Add the milk and vanilla, stir until smooth. Lightly butter a sauté pan, warming over medium heat. Pour approximately 1/4 cup full of batter, swirl around pan to coat the entire bottom. As the edges brown and the center firms up, lightly pull up edges with a spatula and flip crepe, heating other side for approximately thirty seconds. Remove from pan, and place on plate. Repeat, and stack crepes, I think I ended up with approximately sixty-five. URGENT NOTE: Your first crepe or two will most likely look like hell; don't give up. Depending on your pan, you may or may not need to re-butter. I don't.

Construction: I make the cream and the crepes the night before, letting them chill in the Fridgidaire. The rest is simple: place a crepe on the plate, spread a thick layer of cream over whole surface, leaving maybe 1/8th of an inch around the edge. Place a crepe on top, and repeat until you have a lovely stack, I think the draped edges are simple elegance. Try to keep it as centered as possible, your crepes will probably be varied in size, keep that in mind. CAUTION: The stack will be wobbly, so get it in the fridge for a few hours before serving. Definitely do not try to make the cake and then get in the car for a twenty minute drive to your friend's house as it will slide like a drunken party girl on a dance floor, and so will your mood.

Sift a little powdered sugar on the top, or on sprinkle cane sugar and caramelize it with a torch (keep torch away from sad friend).