Has anyone seen Hurl! ? If you haven’t, you ought to sooner rather than later because I don’t expect it to last very long. But maybe I am giving reality food TV audiences too much credit. Hurl!, an extreme eating contest that just debuted on cable channel G4, has a simple premise: Contestants try to eat as much as they can in one sitting, and then they get up and immediately follow that chow session with some rigorous physical endeavor. Whoever eats the most and vomits the least wins the big money.

It is like the idea behind the original Rollerball, the ’70s movie starring James Caan. I say we cut to the chase and just have the players eat forty pounds of tuna-salad sandwiches and, despite their mothers’ plaintive advice, go swimming in a heavy rip tide off the Carolinas. That’s good TV.

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Speaking of which . . . I am huge Deadliest Catch fan. Having met and hung out with the boat captains at several network functions throughout the years, I have a connection to the show that keeps me on the edge of my seat even during the dud episodes. But last night, I got the treat of a lifetime right here in the Twin Cities. The Oceanaire Seafood Room sent its chef, Rick Kimmes, up to Alaska last year where he made some friends in the crab business. This year, he bought more than 120,000 pounds of fresh—yes, fresh—king crab legs from the crew of the Time Bandit. Get ’em while they last. I cannot stand frozen king crab; they are lifeless, waterlogged, and taste like chemicals. But the fresh stuff is amazing, and you don’t have to fly to NYC and buy a whole live king in Chinatown (check out Fu Leen if you care to) to get a nibble of the primo crab; all you have to do is head over to the Hyatt.

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Speaking of the Hyatt . . . that hotel is desperate need of a makeover. It looks downright beaten up and cheap. Now that Manny’s is moving to the Foshay, how long before Oceanaire gets out of that building? My guess is pretty darn fast . . .

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By the way, as the State Fair approaches, I wanted to remind folks that the controversy at the Activities Building has spawned unwarranted ‘police action’ as far as I am concerned. Cooks who for years were deemed amateurs are now considered professionals. People such as Marjorie Johnson and John Lerma have been politely told not to bother entering contests this year; they are disqualified. FOR SHAME!

First, the rules are unevenly applied since there are many sweepstakes winners who enter and are not disqualified simply because they have not written a book. Second, the Fair folks have taken all the fun out of the pro-am nature of a cooking contest. If you feel the same way, let them hear it this year while you are out at the Great Minnesota Get-Together.

No disrespect to all the Ethiopian restaurateurs in town, but injera and wot only goes so far, and after eating my way across East Africa, I can tell you that a Maasai (yes, that’s how they spell it themselves) meat camp restaurant would do well in Minnesota.

A meat camp is a weeklong Maasai getaway where the young warriors learn spear throwing, fire building, and meat butchery from the elders. On the first day, you build the camp in the jungle, including your protective shelter from the lions, hyenas, and cheetahs, and then you kill a goat, a sheep, and a cow and start roasting. You drink a bowl of broth made with local herbs to increase your appetite, and you string out all the primal cuts on green wood and slowly roast by an open fire, eating as you go. I think that concept would do well here.

Check out the photos.

This post keeps popping up on Craigslist, so if anyone wants to be in Rocco’s new show, have at it. This show sounds fantastically boring in a seen-it-before way. What Food Network show haven’t we seen before that we would all watch? I am bored with lame hosts, such as Guy Fieri; no-talent presenters with the wrong attitude about food, such as Sandra Lee; and after awhile, who wants to see Emeril do anything? I think his new Whole Foods-headquartered show on Planet Green sounds and looks terribly boring. So what sort of food fun hasn’t been done yet?

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My pal Matt Horn, the corporate executive chef at Schwan’s, sent me a website that is quite humorous. Check out Weird Meat. After last week’s post on meat-eating websites, maybe some of you have come across some others.

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August 1 and 2 is the Bizarre Foods weekend at the Dome. Friday night I toss out the first pitch, and Saturday we are doing a fun meet and greet with giveaways from the Travel Channel. Come on down and say hi.

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Last year at this time, my son sampled his first root beer float. He has still not forgiven me for holding out on him for so long. He took one pull on his straw and immediately looked up at me with the saddest and angriest eyes, as if to say,  “Hey, you big goofball. I have been alive for almost three years, and this is the first time I get to try this?! That’s an outrage.” Needless to say, he has had a lot of them throughout the last twelve months, and my root beer intake has increased dramatically.

I just got back from Africa and was catching up on my e-mail, and I saw this from Tim Manners at Cool News quoting Eric Asimov in the NYT:

"No soft drink incites the passions the way root beer does. People love it or they hate it, but the don't ignore it. Few sodas have the mystique of a frosty mug of root beer ... Where else short of lemonade would we be able to find so much variety and home-brew creativity?”

Asimov, the wine critic for the Times, invited three of his colleagues, Florence Fabricant, Julia Moskin, and Kim Severson, to join him in tasting twenty-five different root beers. Shockingly, five of their top-ten favorites were sweetened with corn syrup, and three "are corporate products"—Dr Brown's (owned by Pepsico) and IBC and Stewart's (owned by Dr Pepper Snapple Group). The panel had its disagreements about their favorites, but its top consensus choice was Sprecher, which Asimov describes as "a wonderfully balanced and complex brew." The panel also agreed that its least favorite root beers "were dominated by sweetener or vanilla." FYI, Root Beer Barrel posts reviews of more than 250 root beers. I love IBC myself and am not a fan of Sprecher. I love Goose Island root bee, and there is a local Portland, Maine, brew that I adore, whose name escapes me at the moment. What’s your favorite root beer?

You know how much I love press releases. This one is just too good not to share.

“Famed culinary expert Ted Allen joins the Food Network family with the debut of his new series Food Detectives, premiering Tuesday, July 29th at 9pm ET/PT.  The half-hour primetime series explores the delicious connection between science and food, pulling back the curtain and revealing the answers to some of the most puzzling food mysteries.

'We’ve wanted to work with Ted for years on a series of his own and we’ve found a great fit in Food Detectives,' said Bob Tuschman, Senior Vice President, Programming and Production for Food Network. 'Not only will this show provide a wealth of interesting information for our viewers, it also gives Ted an opportunity to show off his wit and culinary knowledge.'

'I'm so excited to be working with Food Network on this new series,' said Allen. 'It's a fantastic opportunity for me to head up my own show and I know that viewers are going to be totally engaged with the information we are discovering on Food Detectives!'

Food Detectives mixes a healthy dose of humor with a wealth of fascinating factoids. Aided by willing culinary techs and the brains from the leading science and technology magazine Popular Science, the series will conduct experiments to find the truth behind the most interesting food myths. Ted and his team will dig deep to answer questions like: Does it really take seven years for gum to digest in your stomach? Is the five-second rule true? Can an 'apple a day' really keep the doctor away? Viewers can also get in on the fun by submitting their most puzzling food conundrums for potential show experiments."

The underlining is my addition. I liked Queer Eye as much as anyone, but Ted’s talent, along with Jai Rodriguez’s, seemed the most manufactured of the five lads. Ted’s culinary tips were a joke on that show, as is the rest of his content that I have seen throughout the years. As a presenter, he might be decent; we will have to tune in to find out. But based on listening to him talk food on Top Chef, QE, and behind-the-scenes at food events we have both been attending, I am not optimistic. And the Tuschman pat on the back underlined above makes me laugh whenever I read it. It is a shame that Alton Brown is already engaged in several other hits on that network because this concept is perfect for him.

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Steven Read of Shepherd’s Way let me know that

“Jeff Roberts, the author of The Atlas of American Cheese is in town.  Roberts, who lives in Montpelier, Vermont, is the Northeast regional governor of Slow Food USA and an organizer of the American raw milk cheese presidium. The Atlas of American Artisan Cheese, tells the stories of 345 small cheesemakers around the country. Roberts will be doing a book signing/demo/seminar at Mississippi Market in Saint Paul on Friday afternoon, July 18th and we'll be there sampling Big Woods Blue.  That evening, you can join Slow Food Minnesota and Surdyk’s for cheese, wine, conversation and a book signing at Elsie's, at 729 Marshall Street NE, Minneapolis from 6:30-9:00 p.m. For more info about this and other Slow Food Minnesota events, check out their website at www.slowfoodmn.org. On Saturday, there will be a benefit for the American Cheese Society at the Cafe Brenda Atrium, 301 1st Avenue North, Minneapolis. This will be a celebration of Local Artisanal Beer and Cheese featuring Chef Brenda Langton and Jeffrey Roberts. The press release reads "enjoy an evening of award winning artisanal cheeses and beers and lively discussion with Jeff Roberts about the local food scene and what Minnesota and Wisconsin food producers can grow and nurture sustainably. Savor appetizers prepared with local ingredients by acclaimed chef Brenda Langton and inspired by the award winning cheeses being sampled".  For information call Classic Provisions at 763-544-2025. Copies of The Atlas of American Artisan Cheese will be available for sale and signing.”

Thanks Steven!

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Local-lad-turned-NYC-uber-chef Gavin Kaysen was on the Today Show. As the local corn comes into season, you might want to try the recipe he taught Matt.

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As Ariane Daugin put it in her latest newsletter:

“Bastille Day, known popularly among the French as ‘Le Quatorze Juillet’ or the 14th of July, is a national holiday celebrating a landmark event in French history: the storming of the Bastille in 1789. This uprising of the people, in defiance against the tyranny of the Monarchy was a critical turning point in the French Revolution that ultimately led to its end. To commemorate the event on July 14, 1790, the populace of Paris celebrated the ‘Fete de la Federation’ on the Champs de Mars--then on the outskirts of Paris, and now the site of its iconic Eiffel Tower. As part of the ceremonies, both King Louis XVI and his confidant and Captain of the National Guard, General Lafayette (who had also served in the American Revolutionary War as both a general and a diplomat), took an oath to the new French constitution. What followed was a huge four-day feast of eating and drinking to celebrate freedom and the enlightened ideals of the fledgling nation state--Liberté, Egalité et Fraternité.”

In that spirit, head to Vincent A Restaurant, and grab a glass of champagne and a wedge of terrine, and toast the French. Vive la France.

Tom Broder passed away over the weekend—very sad news. He left behind a family and a business that many of us have come to know throughout the years. All our prayers and thoughts go out to Molly and the rest of the Broder family as well as to all the employees and extended family of their store and restaurant.

What many people may not realize is that without Tom’s leadership the Twin Cities, the neighborhood restaurant scene would look very different than it does today—and not for the better. Tom was a key player in the expansion of laws allowing for smaller eateries to serve beer and wine, and he was a visionary when it came to serving true regional Italian food to throngs of Minnesota diners.

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I hope everyone knows that my pal Seth Bixby Daugherty, retired restaurant über-chef (Damico Cucina, Cosmos, etc.) and former Food & Wine magazine 10 Best winner, finally has a website for his charitable efforts. Realfoodinitiatives.com is now live. Check it out!

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Speaking of websites, there are dozens of whole hog chow sites emerging these days as popular destinations on the web. I like Nose To Tail At Home. How many of you are really eating this way?

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Rowley Leigh brings up a great point about porchetta in one of his latest pieces online. He is speaking to a London audience, but the point he makes is a good one:

“I may not be well qualified to talk about street food: I haven’t been to a street market in Singapore or wandered around the barrios of Mexico City. I have, however, strolled around a few markets in Tuscany and Umbria and can say porchetta is the best street food I know. It beats hamburgers or hot dogs and I can’t imagine why some fast food entrepreneur does not pick up on the idea . . . ”

Porchetta is a whole suckling pig, boned out, and then filled with its own offal and seasonings, such as rosemary and fennel. It is roasted slowly for hours, sliced thin, and eaten on buns or pieces of wax paper or taken home and eaten in privacy where neatness counts. Now I have eaten in more street markets in Southeast Asia, Latin barrios, and African souks than most folks, and I can say unequivocally that Leigh is right. Porchetta is one of the kings of the takeaway food world, and it is in the category of foods that I think is ideally suited to Midwestern tastes.

Rotisserie snout-to-tail (see how I am spinning this all together?) cooking methods are popular all over the world, and yet here they are just beginning to catch on. I think Minnesotans should lead the charge. We love roasty, porky foods, and I think that rotisserie stands would be big hits at the State Fair (Schumacher’s has one for his pork racks!), on city streets in both towns, and at city and county fairs. It is odd that we don’t have more of them considering how popular the rotisserie chicken has become in local supermarkets.

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I noticed some comments on this site re the empty Zander Café spot on Selby Avenue and the inviting home it might provide for talent such as Doug Flicker. The old Fhima’s space, which was vacant, is now spoken for by Pop!, which will be moving there in late summer. Where else could an entrepreneur find a great home for their restaurant? I still think someone could make a lot of noise on Grand Avenue in the Acropol Inn space next door to Grand Ole Creamery even though they are still open for business. That place seems dead as a doornail. Here’s a question, what’s the best available turnkey location for a new restaurant in the Twin Cities, and what’s the best space currently occupied that could become available any day now?

My pal Berit sent me this cartoon. Now you can see the dilemma I often find myself in when I am on the road. In today’s world, diners pay a hefty premium for chowing on farm-fresh ingredients in chic restaurants specializing in rustic peasant fare while indigenous people around the world are starving, unable to afford the food that has been grown and raised for centuries just miles from their own homes. It’s as if the gods are now spelling ironic cruelty in capital letters.

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Chris Schwab, with the Sioux Falls Canaries Baseball Club in South Dakota, sent me an e-mail a few weeks ago. For those who don’t know, the team is part of the same ownership group as our local Saint Paul Saints. Well, apparently at the Canaries’s ballpark, vendors are selling turkey testicles. They call them Fowl Balls, and the Canaries teamed up with a local turkey processing plant (Dakota Provisions) to sell these little darlings. Chris assures me that they are not selling them two to a sack. Canaries fans can choose from dipping sauces including ranch, barbeque, and bleu cheese to add just the right nuanced flavor to an overflowing sack of Fowl Balls. During the first home stand last month, they sold out. Nearly 1,500 orders. So the question is, with the new stadiums being built, what concessions would you like to see featured closer to home? What local foods should be represented when the Gophers’s and Twins’s new homes open for business?

Here’s a short list of my picks:
—A large St. Paul Farmers’ Market stand with local produce, sandwiches (local roasted pork shoulder sounds good), and beverages modeled on the Ferry Plaza Farmers Market concession in San Francisco.
—A Brasa stand, just like their current eatery.
—A Kramarczuk’s booth featuring many of the Eastern Euro deli treats, including the roasted cured ham and grilled sausage sandwiches that have made it justifiably famous.
—Mavericks roast beef sandwiches.
—Lurcat’s French fries, béarnaise optional—after all, it’s a ballpark.

What do you think? Local barbeque? Ideas?

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Get your tickets now for the Twins weekend home stand at the Metrodome the first Friday and Saturday in August. That would be Bizarre Foods Weekend, and details will follow.

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Speaking of great events, Tom Colicchio has agreed to appear at the Mpls.St.Paul Magazine Taste! event at the W Hotel on October 3 and 4. He will be doing some book signings and a few demos. Tickets go on sale August 15.

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Burt Joseph, former Joseph Catering honcho, is opening a restaurant called Birch’s in the old Ravello space. Tobie Nidetz is apparently helping him with the menu. According to Joseph, the inspiration came from The Buckhorn, an old supper club that was popular in Long Lake back in the ’40s and ’50s. Think fried chicken, KC strip, mac and cheese, club salad, frog legs, etc. Sounds like the locals will have another dining option out west, and hopefully Joseph will reorient the eatery’s windows or landscape the exterior, so diners won’t have to look out over a gas station while dining.