Good Pesach, everyone.

As you know, collecting stupid press releases is one of my favorite hobbies. This one takes the cake. Is it just me, or is this the worst concept of all time, worse even than Restaurant Miami? It begs the question, what is the worst concept in the Twin Cities restaurant scene? It might even be from a restaurant that closed recently, and let’s confine our chat to eateries that are less than five years old or opened (and perhaps closed) since 2002. "Genesis Salad"??? Oh lord. Read below for some great inspiration as you mull over my question of the day, and of course, for an amazing laugh.

The following press release about the new Cafe Emunah, the first-ever
Kabbalistic lifestyle lounge & tea bar, may be of interest to your
audience. Any editorial comment or mention that you may give this
press release would be greatly appreciated.

ELEVATE THE PALETTE AND SOUL AT NEW CAFE EMUNAH IN FT. LAUDERDALE
FIRST-EVER KABBALISTIC LIFESTYLE LOUNGE & TEA BAR PRESENTS A
BIBLICALLY INSPIRED MENU, ORGANIC ENTREES, AND ‘SIDES’ OF TABLE TALK

FT. LAUDERDALE, FL - March 13, 2007 - Café Emunah opens this month at
3558 North Ocean Boulevard in Ft. Lauderdale. This new, $1.5 million
chic kabbalistic lifestyle lounge and tea bar designed to elevate both
the palette and spirit debuts with a very unique menu option: a ‘side’
of table talk. Created by PhD Dr. Marla Reis and Chabad Rabbi Moshe
Meir Lipszyc, Emunah, which means “Faith” in Hebrew, has already
stirred interest from investors seeking to franchise the concept in
other major cities later this year.

Emunah’s modern “organic chic” aesthetic presents diners with
environmentally sensitive décor consisting of evocative art, natural
woods, large open windows, frosted glass, muted metals, recycled
plastics, ergonomic chairs and chandeliers outfitted by flowing sheer
skirting. Retail towers interspersed through Emunah’s Wi-Fi enabled
lounge area offers soul-inspiring reads, tea pots and tea timers,
organic soy candles, and essential home accessories.

“Emunah’s philosophy is to offer a haven for the senses,” explains co-
founder Dr. Marla Reis, “We are designed to appeal to diners of all
beliefs and faiths. We cater to those individuals who believe in
living consciously and welcome those who want to learn how to
incorporate this consciousness into their lives.”

Biblically-influenced dishes such as “inspired miso soup”, “genesis
salad”, and “enlightened encrusted salmon cakes” set the dining tone.
Terminology such as Foresight (appetizers), Revelation (entrees), and
Soul Stirrings (drink & tea choices), replace the expected. A sushi
menu titled “After The Flood” presents innovative sushi rolls
including Rabbi Rolls, Day 5, and East Meets West. Garden-direct whole
leaf organic teas are proudly served to diners accompanied by
electronic sand timers.

But perhaps most unique of all is Emunah’s ‘side dish’ of table talk
concept. Reis, a practicing PhD, will sit table-side with diners who
order a side order of ‘talk’ with their lunch or dinner.

“Consider a session at Emunah a casual conversation with a
professional source,” explains Reis. “We’ll be the first to mainstream
and commercialize informal sessions—it’s the quintessential coffee
(or tea) talk,” says Reis.

Emunah’s organic restaurant-tea bar-sushi bar-library lounge concept
is also strictly enforced by ORB (Orthodox Rabbinical Board) supervision.
The café is located at 3558 North Ocean Boulevard in Ft. Lauderdale
and is open for lunch and dinner. Operating hours are Sunday through
Thursday 11 am–10 pm, Friday 9 am–4 pm, Saturday from 1½ hours after
sunset till 2 am.

Want to know how wild-and-crazy different the Twin Cities food scene is? We have two chefs nominated for James Beard Awards, along with repeat offenders Dara Moskowitz and Lynne Rossetto Kasper in their respective media categories. Tim McKee and Alex Roberts deserve every bit of the attention and both deserve the award. More on that later. If I am in the States, I will be there in NYC to watch one of them win it. Anyone disagree with the local angle at this year's Beard nominations??

In other news . . .

The Style Laboratory is now doing events at the restaurant formerly known as Five. Would you book the place? It has promise as an events space.

Emma's is closed for business—where does Emily Streeter hang her hat now?

Ruam Mit is open again for business . . . and in an oddly prescient turn of the screw, Napa Jack's is closed for business. I guess that answered my question and raises a more important one . . . .

What does it take to attract new customers to a wine shop? How different do you have to be? And WHY CAN'T WE BUY WINE IN GROCERY STORES?

I am not a wintertime grill fan. I like braising in the winter, and I like tomatoes in August. But come April, which begins sooner than you think, it’s time to clean the grill and get cooking. This pineapple glaze for ribs is absurdly wonderful and can be used on chicken as well as pork.

Pineapple Glazed Baby Back Ribs
3 racks of trimmed baby back ribs
3 T. brown sugar
1 T. sea salt
2 T. minced garlic
2 T. olive oil
2 T. cider vinegar
1 small onion, chopped
1 whole bunch cilantro
1 handful fresh mint
1 fresh Serrano chile

Combine herbs, spices, liquids, and seasonings by pulsing in a blender. Rub mixture into ribs, let stand overnight in fridge.

Grill over indirect low heat, maintaining a temperature of 275–300 degrees for 120–150 minutes or until ribs have shrunk back from the rib tips and meat is roasty toasty and fork-tender.

Baste with pineapple glaze during last 5 minutes of cooking. If you like, char ribs over high, direct heat for 2–3 minutes before serving.

Pineapple Glaze
1 qt. pineapple juice . . . fresh-squeezed is amazing, and if you have a juicer, use it for this.
1 t. red chile flakes
2 c. sake
1/4 c. brown sugar
1/4 c. rice wine vinegar
1/4 c. mirin 

Reduce all ingredients at a simmer until glazey. Season to taste with sea salt and fresh-squeezed lemon juice.

Get it?  Wino!

Anyone know about this place?

Napa Jack’s in St. Louis Park is the dream-child of Dennis Youngquist, a local wine-and-beverage industry vet. E-mailers tell me the store “easily has the best customer service I have ever encountered at a wine shop.” Loyal Chow-o-philes also rave about the one hundred selections in the front of the store, where everything is under twelve dollars, and about the shop's temperature-controlled reserve room for wines that the staff thinks deserve resting there. The same readers also lump some small wine shops in with the loss of many of the chef-driven restaurants in town lately. “I actually compare this wine shop to those restaurants, in that it is a small place where the customer comes first and the owner is passionate about the product,” wrote one e-mailer.

So I am left wondering—since I don’t drink anymore and this still sounds a lot like every other neighborhood wine shop (which is not a bad thing)—is this place worth the drive from another burb? Is it really different than Solo Vino, or Sam’s, or some of the bigger stores? Lemme know . . .

Looking for something to do the Friday after next? Here is a letter I got in my box the other day from the JBF. Dr. Romera is a rock-star chef in Spain and a global phenomenon about to go mainstream—he is the darling of the international food press these days and soon EVERYONE will know about the good doctor. I can’t wait to eat at his restaurant next October and see what all the fuss is about, but as I was reading the invite, I began to think that the menu reads like a parody of itself. At a certain point, someone has to say to themselves, maybe we ought to change the language here a little bit—we (the food-obsessed) are starting to sound like the wine geeks! Are menus too wordy? Is the language becoming alarmingly irritating? Some menus are so minimalist, you are forced to ask too many questions of the server and are made to feel intimidated and stupid for asking about a course billed as:

BEEF . . . $34.95

The attitude of those menus is pretentious and overbearing—self-congratulation at being so clever. The antithesis are menus where every farm and cook who ever touched each ingredient is listed one after another, reading more like a list of donors in a museum's annual report than an actual menu. What do you think? See the following for inspiration.

Dear James Beard Foundation Members and Friends:

When superstar chefs like Alain Ducasse and David Bouley sing another chef's praises, people who love food listen. We did. They were talking about a Spanish chef relatively unknown in the United States whose unique culinary "constructions" engage the senses and excite the palate. A little research revealed Dr. Miguel Sánchez Romera, an alchemical chef with the mind of a scientist and the passion of the most ardent food lover, whose restaurant outside Barcelona is even harder to get into than that "other one" we've all heard about.

On March 30, 2007, the James Beard Foundation is proud to launch an exclusive new Beard House fund-raising dinner series, Beard Presents: Masterpiece Dining, with a once-in-a-lifetime dinner prepared by Sánchez Romera, the chef of Spain's L'Esguard. Sánchez Romera, who has never before cooked a private dinner in the United States, has titled his American culinary debut "Illusion and the Art of Culinary Constructionism: Self-Portrait for Spring 2007." This masterful chef has requested that we limit the event to fifty guests to ensure the recreation of the dramatic dining experience to which he is committed. One look at the menu Sánchez Romera is preparing for his Beard House dinner (it follows this letter), and you'll understand why one reviewer writing in Departures magazine happily noted, "Nearly everything I was served at L'Esguard appealed to my intellect almost as much as to my senses. The food was compellingly original and yet disarmingly logical."

In case you are wondering about his title, Sánchez Romera is also a renowned neurosurgeon who brings his intricate knowledge of sensory perception and exacting attention to detail to bear on his culinary constructions. In a press kit the size of a phone book, article after article from Spain, France, Germany, and Japan revels in the obsessive perfectionism of his presentations, the unique textural and flavor combinations of his dishes, and the sheer delight of one of his transformative, multi-course meals.

Please join us in welcoming this groundbreaking chef to New York City and the James Beard House, the Carnegie Hall for chefs. Seats are $1,000 for members and $1,250 for the general public (of which $600 and $850, respectively, are tax-deductible). And they are going fast.

For reservations, call (212) 627-2308.

Menu

Part One

Spring Plate of Extra-Virgin Olive Oils from Andalusia, Castilla, and Catalonia with Pistachio-Mint Purée, Organic Flowers, Rose Water, and Mini Fried Potatoes, Served on a Glass Board

Transparent Ginger Cylinder with Dried Flowers, Smoked White Chocolate, and Seafood with Clear Kombu Sauce

Mini Black Lentil "Caviar," Trout Roe, and American Caviar with Catalan Sardine and Frogs' Leg Stew in Cream of Onion and Chef's Special Seafood Curry Suquet

Part Two

Lobster and Wild Garlic Served with Sliced Radishes Infused with Saffron, Rose, Rosemary, and Ginger Water; Sweet-and-Sour Mayonnaise; and Smoked Queso Fresco

Smooth, Brilliant, and Velvety Purée of Beets, Radishes, Tomatoes, Leeks, Spinach, Carrots, and Beans; Transparent Andean Potato Purée; and a Curry Reminiscent of the Country with Flowers, Fruits, Herbs, Spices, and More

Part Three

Beet-Marinated Wild Salmon Prepared al Papillote in Edible Micrifilm® with Black Truffle-Beef Jus and Micrifilm® Crystals and Garnished with White Pepper, Dried Flowers, and Black Olives

Duck Sirloin with Spices, Roasted Eggplant Mousse, and Smoked Soy Sauce Served with Laminated Rice Soufflé, Flowers, Tandoori-, Vanilla-, and Curry-Flavored Caramels, and Micrifilm® Crunch

Desserts

Asymetrical Gold and Chocolate Cannelloni Stuffed with Sweet Soy Ice Cream Perfumed with Black Pepper and Roses

Chef's Special Madeleine Covered with Spring Flowers, Ginger, Saffron, and Orange with a White Chocolate Surprise

This spectacular dinner will be accompanied by Champagne pairings

Micrifilm???? And it's a registered trademark??? Egads. What is the world coming to?

Why does springtime give me a heavy jones for classic Italian food? Who knows? I don’t really care what the answer is. I learned how to make these recipes in Florence from the cooks who work at Trattoria Sostanza. The key with the classic Tuscan-style crostini is to mince everything as fine as possible—I often pulse in a food processor to achieve the right effect. The veal with tuna sauce is one of the best dishes in the world and may sound odd to some, but the sauce is AMAZING.

Crostini di Fegato
1 lb. chicken livers, minced fine
3 T. olive oil
1/4 c. minced celery
1/4 c. minced onion
1/4 c. minced carrot
1/4 c. minced cremini mushrooms
4 basil leaves
1/2 t. dried oregano
1 T. fresh rosemary, leaved
Pinch hot pepper flakes
2 T. minced garlic
1/2 c. veal stock
1 c. dry red wine 

Heat the oil in a 2 qt. heavy pot over medium heat. Add the vegetables, herbs, and seasonings. Sauté for 5 minutes or so, stirring, and add the livers. When livers are no longer pink, add the stock and wine. Lowering heat to maintain a simmer, cook for 45–50 minutes or until pan is “dry."

Season well and serve warm on small pieces of grilled bread.

Vitello Tonnato
3 lb. boneless, milk-fed veal shoulder or leg—trimmed, rolled,
     and tied
3 garlic cloves
2 carrots, chopped
2 ribs celery, chopped
1 large onion, chopped
6 sprigs parsley
1 bay leaf
2 c. white wine
8 oz. imported Italian olive oil packed tuna
8 anchovy filets
1 c. extra virgin olive oil
2 T. lemon juice
3 T. capers . . . I like the salt-packed capers, rehydrated and
     rinsed in several changes of water
1 1/4 c. mayonnaise, preferably homemade 

GARNISH
Lemon slices
Oil-cured black olives
Chervil leaves

Combine drained tuna, capers, anchovies, oil, and lemon juice in a food processor until it becomes a beige paste. Fold in the mayo to taste. Refrigerate.

Place wine, vegetables, veal, garlic, parsley, and bay into a large, heavy pan. Cover with water. Bring to a low boil and lower heat. Simmer slowly for roughly 90 minutes. Allow meat to cool in the stock for 20–25 minutes.

Remove veal and let rest for 30 minutes at room temperature. Cut veal into thin slices.

Spread some sauce on the bottom of a platter. Place veal slices onto the sauce. Add another layer of sauce, then veal, then sauce. Garnish with the lemons, chervil, and olives.

Here's the video clip from The Tonight Show with Jay Leno:

[Update 3/19: Sorry, it looks like YouTube has removed the video from the site . . . ]

It’s late as I write this, and I need to get some sleep after three nights of not getting any, but here goes . . . .

Came in Wednesday and parked at the Graciela, a great little boutique hotel in Burbank convenient to NBC–Universal studios. Caught a car out to Santa Monica to see my childhood pal Toby, his wife Andrea, and their kids Alexander and Isabel. Toby is a movie producer, and he starts filming a remake of Prom Night next week. How cool is that?

Woke up Thursday, and Rishia and I went to the studio for the day . . . . Kitchen bug-prep, rehearsals, meetings with bigwigs, and hanging in the dressing rooms.

So here is the Tonight Show skinny.

No one lets you take pictures!

Kevin Eubanks is very short in real life, but his band is twice as good live as they appear on camera.

Jay has about a hundred cars he keeps in an airplane hangar, but the one here is his current favorite, a custom made Rocket. It's a single-seater, but there's room for a small person behind the driver's seat if need be.

You get awesome swag, like cool clothes (thanks Danielle!) and a car and driver to take you wherever, whenever. The private dressing rooms have bathrooms and showers and phones and TVs and all the other bells and whistles. Like what, you might ask? Well, every room you are escorted to and from has a rolling buffet in it just for you—you get treated like a king, doors opened, yes sir, no sir (all right, no one says no), you get nameplates on your dressing room. You get to hang out with John Melendez, Mo Rocca, and Fred Willard all day, so you pee your pants you are laughing so hard, and to top it all off, the best TV people in the business are rehearsing you, lighting you, pressing and primping your clothes, taking care of your every need, and making every guest look and sound better than they are in real life. Amazing stuff.

Jolie Ancel, Tonight Show super-producer, took care of me all day long and walked me through the show several times. The marketing and PR people from the Travel Channel came out to hold my hand and make some media magic (they are the best in the cable world at what they do, trust me), and my wife was a rock the whole day long, reminding me what to focus on (enjoying this once in a lifetime opportunity) and what not to (how petrified I was).

Jay hung out with us in my dressing room for a while, shooting the breeze and talking food—everyone loves to talk food. He had three hot dogs, a bag of chips, and a half gallon of OJ last night for dinner, and he swears he has not eaten fruits or vegetables in thirty years. While he was chatting with Rishia and I, Colleen Steward (my Tremendous Entertainment boss) and her posse arrived, and we all hung out until the show started.

The show went better than I ever imagined, mainly because I imagined getting so nervous that I would run screaming from the building, but that never happened, and even Dan Rather joined in all the gonzo food festivities by taunting Jay (with all the joyful exuberance of the Texas native he is) as he tossed down some bull's balls.

We left the studio, lots of smiles and waves of relief palpably emanating from my every pore, and headed out to Beverly Hills, where we had dinner at my friend Bert's house with his kids Georgia, Kate, and Henry. Bert's wife Jennifer was in NOLA shooting a pilot for Fox, and she called us from Herbsaint, where my pal Donald Link was wining and dining her into oblivion. After dinner we went to Holmby Hills, where Bert and his partner Chris were shooting a pilot called Football Wives, which is sure to be a big hit next year. We got the big tour while they were shooting some night scenes in the mansion next door to Hef's place. Talk about some interesting neighbors!

I am going to bed now.

Over at the Strib, longtime dining columnist and restaurant critic Jeremy Iggers has taken the brass parachute and exited the plane. Ditto Al Sicherman and twenty-two others with a cume of 450 years of newspaper experience according the Minnesota Monitor. Taking advantage of the buyout provision (dismissal pay provision, technically, although the jargon is confusing) offered to any employee was a smart one for these two industry vets who, because of their tenure at the paper, will earn what amounts to a year's salary for walking at a time when the paper is going through some major-league changes of its own. Having been bought and sold yet again, the Strib is now streamlining its operations and also rumored to be divesting itself of some major real estate holdings.

Iggers and Sicherman's departure leaves us wondering who will fill the void at this award-winning dining section? Syndicated pieces? Stringers? More Rick Nelson (which, as a reader, would thrill me)? Or will the job postings that apparently will be announced there on Friday indicate that the Taste section is still a major part of the paper's future plans?

I've got to get back to town and find out more about this, but what do you know? Have at it Chow & Again people.

Is Ruam Mit ever going to open again? Someone help me out here and tell me what’s going on . . . . Want to drown your sorrows and eat your feelings over the Mit-saster? Head out to Apple Valley and check out Raising Cane's, the fifty-plus-year-old Southern fried chicken-finger shop that’s all over the deep South and that just opened here three weeks ago. All they do are chicken fingers, never frozen, marinated for twenty-four hours, dipped and fried by hand and to order by real cooks. They only do fingers, nothing else, and they make a killer sweet tea and a pretty good remoulade sauce that's made fresh each morning. The fries are extra long crinkle cuts . . . . Are you getting the drift here? "I know," you say “but it’s fast food, blah blah blah." I beg to differ, and for a fun guilty pleasure, there is nowhere else I would rather stuff my face. Oh, did I tell you about the fresh butter and fresh garlic griddle bread served with the fingers?! Check out my Fox 9 story if you want a sneak peek before you go.

If you love to grill, check out Pimento Wood, a self-described one-stop jerk shop run by my buddy Gary Feblowitz, award-winning ace videographer and fellow food freak extraordinaire. Marination and seasoning are only half the battle when making real island BBQ. You need the wood that makes jerk jerk. Pimento wood (allspice) is available in sticks, chips, leaves, and berries, and Gary sells and can procure other rare cooking woods as well. Apple wood is what makes great bacon so fantastic, and hickory and mesquite are champion barbecuers' woods of choice. Check out why little roadside stands in Jamaica serve jerk chicken that is impossible to replicate . . . well, until now. Use promo code eXoticwood and you can save 10% on me.

Thursday night, I am on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno—no joke. Being of the Tonight Show generation, I am a little freaked, to say the least, and while there is only so much personal grandstanding one can dole out—even on a blog, where blowing your horn is de rigeur, par for the course, and standard operating procedure—this is a big deal, and I thought you would want to know. On to more important matters.

Stewart and Heidi Woodman confirmed the worst kept secret in town over the weekend—they have taken the Pane Vino Dolce space and will be opening a neighborhood eatery serving elevated food at everyday prices. I think this is the perfect spot for the Woodmans: a small space in the right neighborhood, and as chef-owners, they can execute their vision without constraint. I can’t help but think that after debuting at Levain and opening Five, they have figured out how to make this work. Let me put this idea out there . . . if the food is cooked, plated, and priced in a way that makes it a credible option for regular weekly dining by the people who live in the immediate neighborhood, this will be a huge hit. The cross-town fans will always show up, but you make careers and bottom lines on your regulars. Based on what I read in the Strib and what Stewart told me, this place should work . . . . Look for a June opening.

Beth Hawkins's cover story in last week's City Pages is a real head-scratcher. Great idea for a piece, but the article had nothing new to say, making it a puzzler as to how it got on the cover—a space reserved for higher impact revelations, to say the least. Posters on mnspeak.com have been savaging it all week. Read it and decide for yourself. This may be a little “inside-baseball,” but I don’t knock Beth for it—I blame her editors. Sometimes I think I am the luckiest guy in the world because I have the best editor in town making me sound way smarter than I really am. Adam would have spat that piece back at me with a page of notes if I sent it in to him.

Speaking of head scratchers, why is the to-go counter at Good Day Cafe not open yet??? In this day and age, and with ownership as experienced in the restaurant world as David Webb is, why wouldn’t you get the whole hog out in front of the customers from day one?

According to a note I got from Steven Read at Shepherd’s Way Farms, “. . . the first two Friesago cheese makes of the year were this week. Food & Wine magazine cited the Shepherd's Way's Friesago as a must-try. The Cowgirl Creamery store in the Ferry Building in San Francisco was raving about Shepherd's Way cheeses during a recent visit. SWF’s Big Woods Blue will be featured in the cheese course of the Signature Room in Chicago in the month of March. And SWF’s efforts to make Big Woods Blue took a step forward when eighty beautiful handmade wooden racks that are used during aging were delivered to the farm. SWF is expecting to make their first ever Blue Cheese on the farm the week of March 11th.” Why is this all such great news? Because Steven Read has pulled that business out of the ashes, literally and figuratively, after the fire that wiped them out several years ago—an amazing and inspirational story.

In anticipation of a wonderful St. Patrick’s Day, here are some of my favorite recipes. Being a nice Jewish boy from New York makes me half Irish, at least according to my friend Kieran Folliard.

Braised Pot Roast with Guinness
One bone-in arm roast or pot roast of beef (at 4 lbs.)
2 T. of your favorite seasoning blend . . . thyme, tarragon, paprika, etc.
4 T. olive oil
3 c. mixed celery, carrots, onions, diced rutabaga, leeks, etc.
5 garlic cloves, sliced thin
1 c. canned tomato puree
1 bay leaf
1 t. peppercorns
1 1/2 c. beef stock
2 c. Guinness stout
1/4 c. Madeira

Heat a large oven-proof roasting pan over high heat and add the oil. Brown the roast. Remove meat from pan.

Sauté the vegetables until glassy, remove, and reserve. Add the garlic, herbs, spices to the pan, cooking until nicely colored. Add the stout, Madeira, and tomato.

Reduce liquids by half at a boil. Add the stock. Bring to a boil.

Add the meat back to the pan. The top of the roast should "crown" out of the braising liquid. Place a 5-inch square of foil on top of exposed meat. Place pan in a 275 degree oven and cook for 90 minutes.

Add reserved vegetables to pot. Cook for 2 hours.

Remove meat and vegetables from pan. Place pan on stovetop, bring liquids to a simmer, and reduce by a third to thicken. Season and serve with the meat and vegetables.

Buttermilk and Honey Sorbet/Ice Cream
SORBET
1c. water
1c. sugar
1/4 c. light corn syrup
1/3 c. honey
1 1/2 c. buttermilk
1 egg

Place water, sugar, and corn syrup in a 2 qt. saucepan over medium heat. Heat and cool.

In a 2 qt. saucepan over low heat, dissolve honey into buttermilk. Do not scald. Cool.

Place buttermilk mixture in a slender bowl with high sides. Place egg into the bowl. Add the corn syrup mixture until a round, 1-inch–sized piece of the egg is visible to the eye as the egg floats in the mixture.

Process according to the manufacturer's direction in a tabletop sorbet/ice cream machine.

ICE CREAM
5 egg yolks
6 oz. sugar
4 c. heavy cream
1 split vanilla bean
1/3 c. honey
1 1/4 c. buttermilk

In a large bowl, cream together egg yolks and sugar.

In a 2 qt. saucepan over medium heat, scald heavy cream, vanilla bean, and honey.

Liase with the yolk mixture, add buttermilk, and let stand overnight.

Process according to the manufacturer's direction in a tabletop sorbet/ice cream machine.

Here is the proof that my wife (very handy) and father-in-law (who built his own house on the lake!) are not the only ones in the family who can tackle a project. I screwed on the shower head!

Here is the link to something my wife (still very handy) found online. Apparently there are gazillions of dollars sitting in accounts all over the state waiting to be collected. We went onto the site and found real money that we never knew existed! Check it out. One in twenty people are successful in finding cold hard cash.

Here is a thought . . . . Why are we overwhelmed with visual images of Anna Nicole's coffin, but are not allowed to see the thousands of coffins interring the remains of our brave servicemen and -women who died in the Iraq and Afghanistanian wars?

On another tangent, John Michael Lerma—who leads food trips to Italy and is a local cooking teacher, author, and regular fixture at the State Fair blue ribbon podium—was officially told by the Fair that because he is not a recreational hobbyist, and he uses his food career as a direct means of livliehood, he is no longer eligible for the food competitions. And yes, there has been a rule on the books about this forever. But by enforcing the rule, the Fair has opened a Pandora's box:

1) They have sucked away the fun of watching David beat Goliath. I placed last, dead last in the BBQ sauce event three years ago. Pros lose more than they win, and it's fun having someone's grandma kick your ass.

2) How do you draw a line in the sand? Local legend Marjorie Johnson, who has appeared on all the major late night talk shows and has a book in the works, has been forewarned that she may not be able to compete in future years. Many other regular jam and jelly queens earn hard cash in competitions, many quilters and woodworking winners sell their work during the other 355 days of the year . . . . The easiest solution is to let any and all comers toss their pickles into the jar. The rules don't need enforcing, they need changing so that sore losers aren't incentivized to complain. Apparently that's how the policing and enforcing of the rules started. The State Fair shouldn't waste valuable and limited resources on this issue. Let everyone compete in the spirit of a culinary Pro-Am event.

Here's a great way to dine and do good works all at the same time: celebrate World Kidney Day today by having lunch or dinner at any of the seventeen Noodles & Company restaurants in Minnesota. A percentage of all sales on World Kidney Day will be donated to the National Kidney Foundation serving the Dakotas and Minnesota.

Sur la Table, the national powerhouse cooking school for hobbyists and destination retail cookware giant, is opening soon on 50th and France in Edina and rumored also to be looking for space on Grand Avenue in St. Paul. Seems they are trying to move in on the niches that the locally grown treasure Cooks currently has carved out for itself. Cooks can survive—they are the best product out there in their category—but if SLT opens more than one location, look for many of the other less successful cooking stores/schools to close their doors forever. Sad, but inevitable. SLT is a great experience, and there is a limited market here—certainly not enough to support everyone if SLT comes out of the box as strongly as they have elsewhere.

WineHaven of Chisago Lakes has just received invitations from both Paris and Austria to participate in their International Wine Competitions. My spies tell me they are the first MN winery to be invited. Apparently they had turned-down the invitation before and have decided to participate this year. Last year, WineHaven took San Francisco's Best of Show double gold. The wines are available locally, and in more stores since all their recent success.

La Belle Vie is hosting a five-course wine dinner Thursday, March 22. The menu, created by resident genius Chef Tim McKee, will be paired with wines from Château Palmer. And get this—the evening's featured guest will be Château Palmer co-owner James Sichel. The reception begins at 6 p.m. Tickets are $125, not including tax and tip. For reservations call 612-874-6440.

Today I’m peering into mine, and based on my precognitive, Kreskinesque track record, you should be listening.

Several weeks ago, I told one of my editors that if I was Steven Brown or Doug Flicker, I would try to strike a partnership with one of the front runners for MSP’s 2007 Restaurateur of the Year award (that would be next year’s winner, kids). And if I was Anoush Ansari or Tim and Aaron from Town Talk, I would want to talk to Steven and Doug. Why? Because these restaurateurs (groups, companies, whatever you want to call them) are poised to make some real noise in 2007, and Steven and Doug are two of the best chefs in the Upper Midwest.

Well, the early bird has caught the worm. Doug Flicker has indeed been hired by Anoush’s company, Hemisphere Restaurant Partners, and will be the next chef at Mission. He’ll also be helping out with their new France Avenue restaurant, Via. Who will be the chef at Via? The current chef at Mission. Ansari now has a deep bench.

Since I view the best chefs in town the way most pro sports GMs view free agents, I have a few questions for you . . .

Should Doug Anderson (Nick and Eddies, A Rebours) try to strike a deal with Steven Brown? Oh wait, he hired Steve Vranian to run his kitchen. If I’m Anderson, I would hire Brown to remake A Rebours into the best restaurant in St. Paul. Small, casual, and chic . . . and one mile from my house! Touchdown.

Or perhaps the Town Talk guys will hire him, as I posited a few weeks ago. I still think that’s a good match and saves Brown the trouble of finding a location, raising dough, etc. to create his own space. Or maybe they have chatted and both felt it wasn’t the right fit? Who knows, but someone has to do the cooking at the new Niver-Johnson venture, right?

Michael Morse at Landmarc needs a chef if he wants to make that concept work, and if he hires a good one, he’ll have a shot at making a go of things in his new space. Any takers?

Tom Pham just got buried by Dara in last week’s City Pages. Perhaps he needs someone to help organize and grow the food side of his company. With two to three new concepts percolating in Pham’s head, it would be in his best interest to get a food guy on board ASAP to help make some decisions for his kitchens.

So what do you think, smarty-pants? Who ends up where, with what, and for how long?

March has arrived. Deep drifts of wet, heavy snow blanket our beloved Twin Cities, but deep underneath, the crocuses are getting their mojo going. Recipes like this one are perfect bridge dishes, linking the seasons, from winter to spring. Try ragout as a side dish for a roasted chicken dinner or on its own as a simple supper. For me, a perfect Sunday is spent cooking a double batch of the ragout. Freeze some, and serve the rest over a bowl of the polenta—you’ll feel like you are in the north of Italy, just into the lodge after a day skiing the Tyrolean Alps. Or the Afton Alps.

Ragout of Wild Mushrooms over Polenta
RAGOUT
3 lb. mixed, fresh “wild” or cultivated mushrooms . . . cepes,
     porcini, shiitakes, cremini, lobster mushrooms,
     chanterelles, morels, trumpets, etc.
4 T. butter
2 minced garlic cloves
1/4 c. minced shallots
2 T. fresh thyme leaves
1 stem fresh rosemary
1/2 c. Marsala
3 c. homemade rich veal or beef stock
1/4 c. tomato puree
zest of 1/2 lemon

Trim and wipe-clean the mushrooms—do not wash with water. Place a large sauté pan (14”) over high heat and add the butter. When foaming, add the herbs, garlic, and shallots. When glassy, add the mushrooms and sauté until cooked through and beginning to brown. Add the tomato puree and sauté for 60 seconds. Add the Marsala and bring to a boil—this will happen almost immediately. Cook for 60 seconds more. Add the stock and reduce at a simmer by two-thirds. Season with salt and pepper, add the zest, and remove the rosemary stem. Serve the ragout spooned-over the polenta.

POLENTA
2 c. quick-cooking polenta . . . Alpina Savoie brand works great!
5–7  c. chicken stock brought just to a boil and kept simmering
     on a low flame
1/2 c. cream . . . or more to taste
1 c. imported gorgonzola cheese
4 T. chopped parsley
1/2 c. minced onion
3 T. olive oil 

Sauté the onions in the oil in a 4 qt. pot over medium heat. When the onions are glassy, add 4 c. of the simmering stock and then the polenta. Stir and cook for 8–10 minutes, adding stock as needed until polenta has lost its sandy texture when rubbed between thumb and forefinger. Lower heat a few notches. Add the cream and cheese. Stir and cook for 5 more minutes. Add the parsley, season, and serve.

Edible Twin Cities is sponsoring a salute to the Slow Food movement by screening seven short films about food from Slow Food International’s juried competition. The films are from Brazil, Serbia, India, France, Sweden, Germany, and Japan, and the event is on March 24 at 4 p.m. on the University of Minnesota’s St. Paul Campus. Now here’s the cool part—or the rip-off, depending on how cynical you are: The proceeds benefit local delegates to the 2008 Slow Food Terra Madre project, billed as "an international gathering of farmers, chefs, and researchers." So here is the tradeoff . . . you buy a cheap ticket for a great afternoon of superb, food-focused cinema, and you help pay for some other dude’s good time food holiday. Jealous? The get off your butt and join your local Slow Food convivium! I have seen several of these shorts and they are fabulous.

Last Monday night’s debut of Bizarre Foods went pretty well. We had a great kickoff party at Morton’s. A huge thanks to Kathleen and her amazing staff at Mort’s, and to Colleen Needles Steward and the whole Tremendous Entertainment crew for putting on a great event. Check out Rudy Maxa’s blog for an unvarnished and balanced discussion on the merits of the show itself and the series’s engaging and informed host. The blogosphere has been crawling with interesting takes on the show—some of the best discussions have been on the comment boards on Travel Channel’s website, but some other sites have also been pretty fun to read, even when they are ripping me. Believe this, I am not whining in any way, shape, or form. Do what I do for long enough and you develop a pretty thick skin. You get used to the harsh crazy stuff, and luckily, I have learned over the years to read only a small percentage of that junk. Want to join in the fun? Check out any of these blogs: the Well Fed Network, the Common Sense Media TV review, or TVgasm.

Some personal party highlights? Sharing the night with all my friends and seeing Rishia in her element, a charming and gorgeous hostess with the mostess. Scarfing down Morton’s steak sandwiches and key lime pie with my wife after everyone left, watching my Dad beaming with paternal pride the entire evening long and pitching every TV exec in the room on a show that would star him and his seventy-nine-year-old crusty-old-wise-guy personality (I’d watch that!). Watching Holden Platt, almost nine years old, go after Dan Barreiro for not breaking down enough Twins hot-stove action; seeing my wife introduce her mother to one of her idols, KARE 11’s Diana Pierce; watching my father-in-law taking KARE’s Eric Perkins hostage as he dissected the last two years worth of Perk at Play episodes, one at a time. And seeing Cities 97’s Brian Turner diving into a big plate of yak carpaccio. Yes, I am serious. Or watching every leering wolf in the room eyeballing Fox 9’s uber-petite Alix Kendall and then roving their gaze to the leggy Amazon Alexis McKinnnis—very fun stuff. And on the flip side, every single lady at the party wanted to hit on my buddy Dan Buettner, who arrived without longtime girlfriend Cheryl Tiegs, who was still attending Oscar parties back home and couldn’t make it. More on the party once I have time to download some photos.